Tuesday, July 12, 2016


"The past should not be followed and the future not desired:
For what's past is dead and gone,
and the future is yet to come."
                  -Majjhima Nikaya III:131

Emily continued her readings and learning to meditate. She learned that she can not change others.

Step 1: Get in a comfortable position. Sitting down
or lying down with eyes slightly open.

Step 2: Focus your eyes on one spot like the
"third eye" (middle of forehead)

Step 3: Pay attention to your breathing,
when inhaling think "in," or "rising,"
or "comfort," or "surrender.
When exhaling think "out,"
or " falling away," or "letting go," or "release."

Step 4: Place your hands in a relaxing and
energizing mudra position.

Step 5: Be Aware

Step 6: Slowly come back into ordinary consciousness
-Take three long, slow, deep breaths.
-Rub the palms of your hands together
to generate heat
-Place palms over your eyes and face
-Open eyes and slowly lift your hands
away from face. Inhale deeply stretch arms
up over your head, with your hands interlocked
bend slowly to the right and then to the left.


CHUGUG, CHUGGUG, CHUGGUG...Emily was awakened by the opening of the cell doors.
Samantha told her that it is breakfast time. "At 5am," she thought? But she got down from her top bunk, bruising her shins as she moves down the steps. She looked at the steel above the sink that is supposed to serve as a mirror, brushed her teeth and stepped out the cell with Samantha and the rest of the pod mates. Everyone formed a line. The officer came in and checked to make sure the cell doors are closed. As soon as she stepped out the food trays were distributed. As the line depleted, it came for Emily's turn to get her tray. After which she looked around at the tables and chairs to choose a place for her to sit in. She chose a table that had no one else sitting on it. She sat down and started to eat, but as soon as the food touched her tongue her brain registered its blandness. She thought, "it's like putting cardboard in your mouth." She tried another bite, but couldn't make her stomach accept the food. Some of the pod mates noticed her difficulty and asked if they could have what she wouldn't eat. She gladly gave them the food.  Breakfast quickly concluded and they all returned to their cells. Emily quickly fell asleep as she laid down on her top bunk.

Atlanta jail was the biggest county jail in the whole state of Georgia. The county appears to be one of the richest in the city.  The guards in the tower has a button they push to open the cell doors. There are two guards to each tower, one that stays by the buttons to open the doors and the other one makes rounds. There were six pods surrounded the tower hexagonally. To each pod there are thirteen cells and two inmates to each cell. Atlanta Jail did not have steel bars to each cell. It had steel doors with bulletproof glass.

An hour passed. The door started making loud clicks again. Samantha said, "I'm to report to the medical clinic." Emily nodded sleepily and watched her walk out the door. She fell asleep again. Having no way of keeping track of time, she is easily awakened by the clicking of the door. And because she has been in there for less than 24 hours she does not know what the clicks meant--if it meant rotation, or the guards want you to go out, etc.. At one point, in her sleepiness she thought  it meant that the guards want her to come out because it kept happening. At one time she checked if it was her door but her door was closed. So when it clicked again she thought she needed to catch it to keep open so she jumped off the top step to catch the click and keep the door open. Doing made her head hit the wall. She didn't know what to make of this bump because she once again missed the door. She finally decided to give up trying to catch the clicking to get the door open and Samantha finally came back from the clinic. She was somewhat embarrassed about what happened and decided not to share this occurrence with anyone.

She slept a lot that day. She dreamed she was out and got her little girl from daycare. While she was out she kept wondering would she be in trouble for being out.